Baby Shower Cakes

Playing parenting by ear

Filed under: Just for moms, Babies, Toddlers

I am one of those people who thinks it's awful when parents dish out unwanted advice to other parents, or even worse, non-parents, and yet sometimes I can't help myself. The other day I was horrified to find myself telling someone "if there's ONE thing I've learned about parenthood, it's that nothing is predictable! So keep that in mind: just when you think you've got your kid figured out, he'll change EVERYTHING!". Which, god, shut up, self, because I should clarify that the person I was speaking to did not in fact request my One Most Useful Piece of Parenting Know-How, I just up and offered that all on my own, and also, ALSO? I can't even follow my own advice, because even though the whole business of unpredictability is in fact true, I fall into a DAILY trap of thinking I know what the hell is going on in my own household and guess WHAT, I NEVER DO.

Hoo, sorry to go all CAPS LOCK on you, I'm just still reeling from a challenging couple weeks with the kids, where there was illness and then there was crankiness and the baby's started slobberingly gnawing his hands (no teething! no teething allowed! You're only 3 months old!) and wildly gagging on his fingers and I keep thinking he's hungry when he's tired and vice versa and my toddler has been oscillating between extreme cuteness and downright putridness and I feel like I've been plunged into jungle warfare lately, like where are the next round of bullets coming from, NO ONE KNOWS.

I guess it's mainly the baby's presence that makes everything extra crazy, because although Riley's mood can greatly change depending on such intangible factors as the number of oxygen molecules in the room and the position of the planets, he at least sticks to a basic routine of napping/sleeping/eating. In comparison, Dylan's the real chaos factor. Will he nap in short, frustrating intervals, or will he lapse into a comalike state for three solid hours in the middle of the afternoon, causing me to worriedly hold mirrors in front of his sleeping mouth? Will he milk-bong about a thousand ounces at this feeding, or will he daintily sip a few swallows and then loll his tongue out, totally distracted by the beige wall paint? Truly, even when babies start to develop schedules they are still a (pooping) mystery wrapped in a (spitup-coated) enigma.

So even though I clearly need to STFU when it comes to offering Helpful Little Parenting Guidelines, here's the ONE thing I KNOW is true: I am totally winging it over here. Seriously. I've been at this job for two and a half years and I swear it just gets more humbling every day.

What about you? Do you feel pretty confident as a parent, like you've pretty much got your stuff together -- or are you winging it too?

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It's summertime and the swimsuits are skimpy

Filed under: Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11

At what age would you consider it appropriate for a young girl to wear a skimpy bathing suit? Before you answer that, let's define skimpy. For me, that would be anything with high-cut legs, low-cut waist and/or tiny triangles covering the upper body. I don't consider myself a prude, but I think little girls should look like little girls and not flat-chested Victoria's Secret models. And while I know that swimsuits by their very nature reveal lots of skin, I think a child's suit should not necessarily resemble a tiny version of an adult suit.

Unfortunately, finding the right suit requires trying on a lot of wrong suits. Wrong suits that my 7-year-old desperately wants, of course. I won last year's battle of the swimsuit and have every intention of winning again this year. After all, I hold the credit card and therefore the power.

I am now gearing up to do battle again, but this year I am previewing selections online first. It is important to try a suit on of course, but looking online beforehand helps me avoid stores where we might run into something like this. Or even this.

I recognize that appropriateness is sometimes in the eye of the beholder, but I also know what I feel comfortable with. What about you? How do you feel about little girls wearing little bikinis?

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Shania Twain and husband divorcing

Filed under: Divorce & custody, Celeb kids

I have always found Shania Twain's life story to be quite inspiring. Raised by her mother and stepfather, Shania and her siblings grew up poor in Timmins, Ontario. She was well on her way to a singing career when both parents were tragically killed in a car accident in 1987. 22-year-old Shania put her career on hold to care for her younger siblings and supported them by performing for audiences at a resort near Huntsville, Ontario. She got noticed there and eventually landed a recording contract. Her first album wasn't terribly successful, but it did catch the attention of producer Mutt Lange, who took her under his wing. Together, they made Shania a star.

Twain not only found success with Lange, she found a husband. The two married in 1993 and had a son, Eja, in 2001. Sadly, their 13-year marriage has hit a rough spot and yesterday Twain's record label announced that the couple is separating. "This is a private matter and there will be no further comment at this time," said Twain's spokesperson at Universal Music Group Nashville.

We all love fairy-tale endings and it sure looked like Shania had found hers. For Eja's sake, I hope these two can work out their differences and continue to make beautiful music together.

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Image of the Day: Blur

Filed under: Image of the Day

The leaves, the swing and the blurred child in motion make me feel incredibly nostalgic for my own childhood. Thanks to Xenub for a great way to end the week.

If you'd like your own picture featured here, simply upload photos into our group Flickr Pool - We'll highlight an image every day. Remember: we're on the lookout for shots with interesting backgrounds, cool angles, or original composition. Be sure to read the intro on our main Flickr page for more information and limit your uploading to 5 photos per day.

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Nine-year-old girl carrying her own twin

Filed under: Kids 8-11, Health & safety, Medical conditions

A 9-year-old girl in Greece entered a hospital with stomach pains and left grieving a twin she never even knew existed. The girl, whose name has not been revealed, had a swollen belly and abdominal pains that doctors at Larissa General Hospital attributed to a tumor. After the growth was surgically removed, they discovered that it was actually the girl's embryonic twin.

"They could see on the right side that her belly was swollen, but they couldn't suspect that this tumor would hide an embryo," hospital director Iakovos Brouskelis said.

The embryo was a formed fetus measuring more than two inches long. There was no brain or umbilical cord, but there was a head, hair and eyes.

While cases of one twin absorbing the other in the womb is unusual, it isn't completely unheard of. Andreas Markou, head of the hospital's pediatric department, says it happens in about one of every 500,000 live births.

The girl made a complete recovery, but not surprisingly, her family wishes to remain anonymous.

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Kevin Nealon faces fatherhood in a new book

Filed under: Newborns, Pregnancy & birth, Money & work, Celeb parenting

A few months after our older daughter was born, we set up an appointment to meet with a lawyer for "the talk." No, not that talk...the one where you make a hypothetical plan for your child, should you and your spouse be suddenly abducted by aliens at exactly the same moment. Or you know, something worse.

My husband and I were in total agreement on every decision we made regarding our wills and life insurance, especially the one where we never wanted to use them in the first place. After every question our poor lawyer asked, we'd reply, "Well, of course we'll never need it, but hypothetically, we'd like to..." I'm surprised he didn't write it in all caps at the top of the forms we got back: YOU PROBABLY WON'T NEED THESE BUT HERE THEY ARE JUST IN CASE. That would have made me feel better as I stuffed them into my filing cabinet for safe keeping.

Funny man Kevin Nealon, who found fame by creating hilarious characters like "The Subliminal Man" on SNL and the incorrigible but utterly hysterical Doug Wilson on Showtime's Weeds, found himself facing the role of his life at age 52...Daddy.

Continue reading Kevin Nealon faces fatherhood in a new book

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